Posts Tagged ‘critical self talk’

Talkin’ Back to Your Inner Critic!

You don’t feel like getting out of your comfy sweats – the ones with the stretched out waistband, baggy knees, and that are easily classified as ‘floods’ after years of washing.  You don’t want to change out of your oversized, super-soft, college sweatshirt with the faded coffee stains.  Sigh.

But it’s Saturday morning and there are errands to be run.

You’ve had your coffee.  You’re armed with your “list”.  Now you’re trying to get motivated to go out and tackle those errands.  There’s so much to do and yet, you don’t feel very motivated to do it.  You feel kinda worn out – and you haven’t even started.

You stand in your closet, coffee mug in hand, just staring hopelessly at your clothes, not really seeing them. What will look presentable enough to run errands in and still be comfortable?  Sigh.  It’s too much energy to figure it out.

Your inner critic speaks up

Oh, wait.  I hear something.  It was faint, but now it’s getting louder as you stand there, eyes glazed over, absentmindedly sipping lukewarm coffee:  “What’s wrong with you?! Just get going.”  “These errands have to be run.”  “You’re just being lazy. You’ve got stuff to do.”  “You’ve got to get motivated and get going.  Now!”

Yep, there she is.  Your inner critic.  She’s in top form.

It’s all too familiar

What else is your inner critic famous for saying when you’re feeling low-energy and worn out?

“If you don’t do it, who will?”

“You don’t do enough.” 

“You don’t deserve to stay home and relax.”

“If you don’t get this stuff done today, it won’t get done.”

There is more to you than your inner critic

You know that voice well.  She’ll never run out of retorts to your sighing and feeling unmotivated.

Her criticism is so familiar that you don’t even question her when you’re feeling low-energy and worn out.  It’s like being on auto-pilot.  She speaks up.  You listen.  Then you feel bad about yourself.

In fact, you’re so in tune with your inner critic that you may not realize Read the rest of this entry »

     

I have this girlfriend who spends quite a bit of our time together being critical. 

If I share something cool that I’ve done or am getting ready to do, she’ll remind me that I’m probably not as successful as I think.  That always gives me pause.  Which is probably good for me, right?  She’s usually willing, when I ask, to tell me the ways I haven’t met my goals and high standards (which she shares, too), despite my efforts.  She can be relentless in her pursuit of perfection.  And I find myself buying right into it, even though it usually feels kinda yucky.

But all in all, she isn’t unkind.  We are seriously bonded friends and I think that for the most part she has my best interest at heart. 

Besides, we’ve been dear friends for as long as I can remember. 

It isn’t so easy to just stop being friends with someone like her.  She’s very cool and popular, she makes me laugh, and she’s always there for me.  Really, she is.  There were many times I felt like no one was on my side and she would be the one who was there for me.  Still, she tends to be critical and judgmental.  Always with an eye towards self-improvement and doing what’s best (supposedly). 

Do you know the kind of friend I’m talking about?

I can’t be the only one who has a friend like that, can I?  I don’t think I am.  But guess what?  Read the rest of this entry »